so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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