There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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