In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
