I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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