went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
