Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
