; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
one might say we're banned from that church
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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