You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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