there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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