I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
