2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want to have your abortion
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
