Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
