That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
