i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Be still, my beating vagina.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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