Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
