jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
