My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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