you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
