That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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