the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
