Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
