My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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