Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
