we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
