Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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