i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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