Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
