in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
