Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
