I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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