so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am available for nakedness
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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