i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
