My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
