omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
