only if we run a train.
done.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
