I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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