In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
