Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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