i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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