I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
