Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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