Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
foreskin is a definite game changer
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
