The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
