BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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