just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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