Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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