Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
