I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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