Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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