I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Pants are for mortals
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
