Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you had me at cake vodka
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
