Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Someone came in the potted fern
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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