omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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