I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
