I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
be right there i have to get my cape
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
